While I love my children dearly and love being a mom, I am also a woman and a friend. I was my own person with my own interests before I had children and I will be my own person and had better have interests of my own after the kids go. I think as moms, this is one area we let slip away from us. We can get so wrapped up in everyone else’s schedule and lives and get so caught up in making sure things are getting done and everyone else’s needs are met, that sometimes we can let our own wants and desires be pushed aside.
I have said before how great a group of girlfriends I have and I realize I am a very luck girl for it. We all do. Part of the reason we have managed to stay so tight through all our madness of raising kids and jobs and life, is that twice a year we carve out time for one another. We usually do a Christmas or winter get together and a summer get together. Not everyone can make it to everyone one, but if you have to miss out for whatever reason, you know that there will be something soon to look forward to.
Summers are getting particularly hard to plan for. We have been trying since early June to nail down a weekend to getaway. We’ve even just narrowed it down to one night, in hopes that scheduling would be less of a nightmare. Many of our mom friends are in the stages of having babies and many of us have young babies so that makes it a little difficult for a whole weekend, but one night is certainly manageable. Dad’s can handle one night, even if they tell you they can’t! Winters are getting just as tough to plan around nowadays too though as everyone’s kids get involved in activities and sports. So, even if it means we show up late and leave first thing in the morning to get back, we will do it.
For me, getting away with girlfriends reminds me that I am more than just a mom. I need to remember that my kids will be grown and gone someday and my life can’t be empty because I put everything on hold while raising them. It allows me just for one night to feel young and responsibility free. We laugh way too much, at way too silly of things, for women of our age, and when we are all together suddenly we go back to being kids. Just nothing to worry about or think about besides enjoying each other’s company. We can slip back in to time when there was no stress, no pressure, just life at its fullest. For the moms, we go back to our families refreshed and rejuvenated and ready to tackle the next 6 months until we can get away again.
Sometimes being a mom can’t be put on hold for very long, but whether I am able to carve out 6 hours or 12 hours, I make the most of it and I truly value the time I am able to spend with my girls. These girls give me strength to keep going when things are tough, they give me perspective when I need it, they give me memories to draw back on when things are getting too serious, they give me support and they give me encouragement.
How do you stay connected with your girlfriends as your lives are changing?
myJAMpackedlife 
Well I don’t have kids, but when my friends started having kids it was tough because I never got to see them. Mostly I had to go to their house or work around their schedule. I think it’s hard for both parties in that case. For me, even though I don’t want kids, I feel left behind. For them, they are probably frustrated they don’t get enough time for themselves. I imagine it’s tough to nail down a schedule where all your friends can get together, but it’s important that you do! I think every woman needs that time.
its tough. moms are super busy when they have small babies and many don’t like to deviate from routine, and i don’t blame them one bit.
We’ve all had to miss a time or two because our babies were just too little, but we always know something will come up again soon so it makes it ok. and the rest of us are good at understanding what they are going through.
That’s such a great idea to stay connected to your group of friends. i find that life is just so busy for everyone you really do need to nail down a date and make plans in order to have that quality face time. Me and my girlfriends planned a trip to Whistler this spring and we are planning a camping trip at the end of summer 🙂
i dont have a sister so to me, my girlfriends are my sisters. Thats what we do is just set aside Nov. 11th long weekend and we go to a big city for the weekend. everyone knows it is that weekend, so when planning other things you know in advance. this works better than trying to nail down a weekend every 6 months. We will now be doing that in summer as well as that is definitely more hard than winter to plan around.
I don’t have children (yet) but one of my good friends has two–and one is only a few months old. So I try to do a lot of the contacting her and will just go to hang out with her at her house a lot (it’s easier for her). When I’m there, I play with her two year old and hold the baby or will just help out when I can. This way she gets grown up girl time but also gets a breather. We’ll have a cookout or do some mall walking.
Having little ones is tough, especially when they are babies. You really aren’t able to get away for any quality amount of time so i think that’s wonderful that you recognize that and make the effort for your friend. One day she will return the favor when hers are a bit older and you have little ones. it all works out in the end. Im sure she appreciates the help and the visiting.
Great post! I know what you mean about this. It partially scares me to become a mom because I know that I’m the type of person to drop everything for those I love. It’s a good reminder though that we can never let ourselves fall to the wayside even though life gets hectic. I think I started realizing this when my mom does this to herself. She now treats herself to massages, shopping, and time with girlfriends just for her own sanity. It was harder for her to do when the kids were young though!
This is also a good reminder for me when school starts. I keep telling myself that I’ll be gone for 3 years but I still need to try to maintain friendships.
yes perfect example is school. We have all attended schools in different cities for different lengths of time and we made it a priority to visit the one who was away since they were less likely to be able to attend. Long distance requires more effort, but its worth it in the end