Summer Reflections: Jerks on the beach

12 Sep

Agh! I found this in my drafts folder this morning and can’t believe I never got around to posting it. It was such an enjoyble family moment after all. Enjoy!

To the jerk at the beach;
While I can totally appreciate you pointing out how I had invaded “your” sand, I absolutely can not appreciate the manner and language you felt necessary to use.
When you asked if I could just move my stuff a bit, I responded “Yeah, I’ll move everything out of the way”. Apparently that was the complete wrong thing to say as it seemed to set you off. I had no idea I was such an inconsiderate person, no idea that parents were to stay off the sand at the beach, and no idea you alone owned the elusive stretch of sand in front of your chairs all the way down to the water. So, again, I appreciate you pointing out the rules of the beach and how the boundaries actually work. What a fool I’ve been for the past 9 years just sitting randomly where I see an open spot. Man, the people that have had to bit their tongues for the past 9 years must be enormous as no one has ever confronted me in quite that manner before. The F bomb is totally appropriate to use, by the way, in front of all the kids as well. Now my children got a glorious chance to see first hand how people who are uneducated speak and act. If they ever decide it may be a good idea to quit school, I will always have this example to pull out as to why that’s not the best decision to be making.
If, in the future, our paths were to ever cross again here are three things I wish you could understand about me.
1. You don’t “actually” own the beach. Scary isn’t it. Even scarier than those tats you’re sporting, I know, but the sign clearly says “public” beach. Not pubic, but public. As in open for everyone to enjoy.
2. My kids hearing does in fact work. It’s never been checked “officially”, but we have been communicating successfully with language for 9,7 and 3 years with each of them, so I’m pretty sure they’re ok. Maybe keep that in mind while dropping F bombs at their mother next time, please and thank you. I would hate for my son to deem that appropriate behavior for a man to treat a woman.
3. Please and thank you go along way and would have avoided this whole situation. But apparently in your 8 years of school, that lesson was never learned. Must be grade 9 they teach that in. Darn.
But, sadly I will never get the chance to share these lessons with you because as you pointed out, I’m just not a “fucking courteous person”.


2 Responses to “Summer Reflections: Jerks on the beach”

  1. El Guapo September 13, 2013 at 2:58 pm #

    Maybe next time he’ll be asleep, and your kids can include him in their games.
    By burying him in the sand.

    What? Oh, sure. I suppose they can leave him airholes…

    • myjampackedlife September 16, 2013 at 9:30 pm #

      Ha ha. That’s funny. I wish I would have thought of that myself. But minus the air holes. That guy had enuf hot air to last him awhile on his own I think!

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