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Is it really mommy wars or just trying to help? #mommywars

21 Mar

This past week alone I have read 5 posts on mommy wars.

Stop judging me, stop giving me advice, stop thinking you are better than me. Blah, blah.

Enough already.

If a person has 5 children, are they not qualified to advise me on teething, potty training, tantrums, etc. I may not agree with them, I may agree with them, or I may agree with one thing and not the other. Isn’t that the whole point of it all though?

There is no other aspect of life where your experience actually makes you worse at your job.

Would you really be upset if your boss or another coworker who had problem solved the same scenario had the nerve to offer advice and let you know what worked for them so you didn’t spend hours trying a method that in the end was a waste of time. Wouldn’t you in fact actually ask a variety of people who had been through the similar experience to gather as much information as possible to help you on your path?

If there is a senior employee in the office who had been with the company for 50 years, do we assume he has nothing to offer and get offended every time he makes a suggestion or offers some insight into the past and what has worked or hasn’t worked. Does his age negate all possibility that he has seen change over the years and can actually accept changes?

In villages in Africa and probably other places too that I can’t think of while typing so crazily, the grandparents play a huge role in the upbringing of the children. In some places, they are the primary caregivers to newborn and young babies.

Whoa.

Would that not fly here! No way in this society do old people (or anyone who’s previously had a child of their own) know ANYTHING about raising children. In fact, according to all these people who want to stop the mommy wars, these people should literally be banned from having any contact what so ever with parents of other children for fear they do something that was done in the past, and not follow the new latest parenting craze or have the nerve to let us know what has worked for them.

I’ll be the first to admit that times have changed. There are things we didn’t know then that we know now about a lot of things. But there are also a lot of very valuable things we can learn from the older generation. There are things we can learn from them mom sitting next to us on the playground. The mom who potty trained 1,2 or 5 kids has something to offer. Something. She may just be offering a suggestion to help. Not passing judgement at all.***gasp** that is possible, right?

Take what you need, leave what you don’t. Be open to the possibility that maybe people are just trying to help and support each other after all. The war we are trying to avoid by offering to help one another along the way, is the very war we are creating by doing just that.

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