How shopping really makes me feel

8 Jun

Yesterday I had the luxury (or displeasure, however you look at it) of going on a major grocery run. I had a huge list of errands to run and a huge list of groceries and supplies to purchase. The money was in the bank and allotted for the purpose of restocking and beefing up our freezer storage. You’d think I, as a woman, would be thrilled. But to be completely honest, shopping is one of my least favorite activities that I have ever had to take part in.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the part about going through the aisle,s checking everything out and placing the items in my cart. That’s where it ends. I have been known to empty my complete cart by the time I reach the checkout lines, putting various things back on the shelf as I put another one in. You see, as soon as I pick up an item, my eyes are immediately drawn to the price and my heart races. My mind is constantly tallying up the total for the items in my cart. I’ll second guess whether we really need that or can it wait till next time.

If I go shopping for a gift for someone, you would assume I would look around and pick out the perfect gift based on that persons likes or dislikes. To some degree I do do that, but my eyes start first at the price. I look up from there. I wish I could just pick out a gift and say that’s it, they would love that, and buy it, but my mind is calculating the whole time what the tax will be, what the total cost will be, and what will the balanace in my account be after I pay. Its crazy. I just can’t relax and enjoy the experience. When I get to the till, my heart is beating so fast watching them scan the items, my palms get sweaty as I’m ready to hand over the debit card. I just want to turn and run. As I punch in my  numbers, I sit on pins and needles till the “accepted” sign flashes accross the screen. Not because Im scared it will be declined, but because now I know that my hard earned money has been literally “swiped” out of my hands.

I have friends who are always offering to get my meal, get my drink, whatever. They know I will get it next time and its not a big deal. And I usually do. But even if I didn’t, they wouldn’t mind. They enjoy treating their friends. What they dont know, is that when its my turn to treat, I extend the offer through clenched teeth and it never sounds as natural as when they say it to me. I feel as if I have to take a deep breath and just spit the words out before I can take them back. Its just not a natural thing for me to enjoy spending money. Even if its to treat someone who deserves it. Or if I really want to do it. It still just feels awkward to me and again, sends me into a mini panic attack. I just hate the thought of my money leaving me.

I wish I had that natural desire to want to spend my money on nice things, for myself as well as others, but its not in me. Nine times out of ten, if I’m looking for a specific item, whether it be a purse or food, I will always pick up the cheapest option, even if it isn’t the one I like the best. That one time when I do splurge on an item, usually happens at a weak moment in my life and I end up regretting it.

Do people really enjoy shopping and spending money? I just find it hard to believe…..


13 Responses to “How shopping really makes me feel”

  1. fromshoppingtosaving June 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

    I used to enjoy spending money because I was so ignorant. I didn’t have any goals and I didn’t have reasons to want to save my money. It felt good and I felt “rich.” What’s not so rich is the feeling you get after you look at just how much you spent. It makes me feel so sick now. I always try to put things back after I collect items in my cart. I’ll also always choose the cheapest option.

    • myjampackedlife June 10, 2012 at 10:01 am #

      the anxiety helps to keep me in check so i guess its not so bad. And besides, sometimes the cheaper versions are just as good if not better.

  2. Budget & the Beach June 9, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    I have a hard time when people treat me for a lunch or something because I do feel uncomfortably obligated to treat them another time. I’n not sure I have quite the anxiety you do about buying things, but I do sometimes get buyers remorse.

    • myjampackedlife June 10, 2012 at 9:58 am #

      i always have buyers remorse too. I usually return at least one thing i have bought. i don’t know why i keep buying it in the first place.

  3. See Debt Run (@seedebtrun) June 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

    If I had a lot of money, I would feel great! I love shopping, but hate the guilt afterward.

  4. Modest Money June 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm #

    Wow I found someone who seems to like shopping less than me. I used to part with my money a lot easier, but over the years I’ve become quite cheap and just don’t want to spend money. Food is a bit of a weak point with me, but there are so many things that I want that I just can’t bring myself to buy. I have a feeling that I’m due for a bit of a splurge after being especially tight with my money lately and suddenly having a job again.

    • myjampackedlife June 8, 2012 at 8:59 pm #

      The thing I hate more than spending money on though is being called cheap. Frugal is good but cheap is so bad. If you want to splurge, I can send you s list for me….

      • Modest Money June 9, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

        lol my list is already getting long enough. I just treated myself to sushi for the first time in months. Now as the wallet gradually starts opening, I’m gonna have to fight to stay away from the electronics store. Then I’ll start feeling guilty and go back to being cheap…oops I mean frugal 😉

  5. TacklingOurDebt (@TacklingOurDebt) June 8, 2012 at 11:48 am #

    There are certain things that I love to spend money on and many things that I don’t enjoy spending money on. For example the other day my husband and I stopped by the grocery store for 10% off Tuesday. Our list was quite short, but it seemed that every item these days is 5 bucks. We left with 2 small bags of items that after the discount still came to 100 bucks. If you don’t enjoy spending money, then don’t. You will be so much better off in the long run than I am 🙂

    • myjampackedlife June 8, 2012 at 8:58 pm #

      Things seem to add up so fast. I was at Costco and that is the worst. 3 items can be $100. I guess that’s why I love the dollar store!!

  6. Canadian Performer's Money June 8, 2012 at 10:40 am #

    Wow! I feel exhausted after reading your post. Why all this anxiety over money? Have you thought of talking to a therapist or something to lower your stress and extend your life?
    I find most people who stress over money feel that they are not in control of their finances. Is that the case in your situation?
    If you can’t buy your friend a cup of coffee once in a while without gritting your teeth something needs to change. I also wouldn’t want to be passing this irrational fear onto the children in my life.

    • myjampackedlife June 8, 2012 at 8:56 pm #

      Yes. A therapist. Or friends who actually deserve a cup of coffee……..

      • Canadian Performer's Money June 8, 2012 at 9:53 pm #

        Coffee and a chat with a good friend might just be the best $2 therapy around.

By commenting on this post, you WILL become my new best friend!!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: