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How did I leave on my last day?

29 Feb

Well I am happy to say I made it out of there without making a huge scene. I am suprised though at how emotional the day was for me. I really thought I would just be like, neh, no biggie, I’ll be fine. Move on and forget this place. But as I walked out the door, i felt eerily like i was an actor in a movie and I was watching myself walk down the steps, out the door and get into my car and drive off the property. I had my coffee cup in my hand and it all felt alot like some hick town movie where the local plant shuts down signalling an end for the town. It seems very surreal and odd, like Im in a dream or this isnt really happening to me, but to someone else and Im just observing.

I have to believe that this isn’t the end for me, of course its not, why would it be. Its just the beginning of something new. Beginnings are scary, change is scary but its also necessary. I couldn’t really stay and work at that job for my entire life and be happy, but I really doubt I would have had the balls to leave on my own. So when everyone tells me “everything happens for a reason” I do believe that, but like i said, Im scared.

That place will always be apart of me. It will be present whenever I tell one of my most memorable life events. I had my three kids while working there, we bought our house and moved in while I worked there, I met one of my best friends while working there. It will never escape my life because those are events that I will always talk about. I learned alot about my work ethic, I learned alot of skills, I matured alot, and I will use all the everyday interactions with others to shape how my future plays out. The road ahead is not smooth, but its where Im going and I can’t change that, I can only change the way I deal with those bumps.

When I look back in 30 years, it will just be one moment in time. I wish somedays I had a crystal ball into the future that told me where I’d be, i just had to figure out how to get there. but i don’t, i don’t know where I’ll be or how to get there, I only know that my journey starts today.

 

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One Response to “How did I leave on my last day?”

  1. Arleen Bradley March 2, 2012 at 12:30 am #

    You have abundant opportunities waiting for you. Take some time to grieve your loss, then start looking. You are more important than a job. Best wishes for a successful (and short) search.

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